My conversation with the Slayers
by Lita Inverse
Summary: My pitifull attempt at a self-insertion fic this is my view of what would happen if i got together with the slayers
1. Default Chapter

Insane Ramblings just because

(open in a pocket dimension with Lita Inverse,Lina,Zelgadiss and Xellos)

Lita Inverse:GAAH! Writers block

Lina&Zel:YEAH!

Lita:(Glare)

Lina&Zel:…

Xelloss: poor Lita-chan

Lita:(Shifts glare) what are you up to?

Xelloss:Sore Wa Himitsu Desu ^_^

Lita:do you want me to hurt you?

Xelloss: (well Duh! Look) Of Course!

Lita: oh yeah your Xelloss well…um…(lightbulb appears overhead) Don't make me call Xelas.

Xelloss:(shocked look with hand over heart) You wouldn't (gasp)

Lita: one: Melodramatic Mazoku two: you have no heart three:yes I would and four:GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!!

Xelloss:(inching towards ungaurded computer) Who me? )mock innocence with fake halo too)

Lita:YES YOU!! LINA THOSE ARE MY BREADSTICKS!

Lina:you weren't eating them?

Lita: that's gourry's lame excuse

Lina: oh yeah

Lita: (sweatdrop) XELLOSS GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!!

Zel: (ignoring all around him drinking coffee)

Lita: ZEL WHO SAID YOU COULD HAVE COFFEE!! LINA THOSE ARE _MY_ BREADSTICKS!! XELLOSS FOR THE LAST TIME GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!! THAT'S IT!! EVERYBODY OUT! (shoves everyone out dimensional door) phew! (evil laughter) payback is sweet!

(fade to black)


	2. My conversations 2

Insane ramblings 2

(fade in on Lita inverse sitting on a couch with chibi-Slayers on it with a notebook with evil plans running through her head)

Lita:MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA…(continues laughing) HA..ack (forgot to breath and starts choking)

(Xelloss appears and Lita stops choking)

Lita: (evil glare) WHAT do you want?

Xelloss: (hurt look) what makes you think I want anything?

Lita: you always wantsomething

Xelloss: good point

Lita: well…

Xelloss: Sore-

Lita: (ready's Dragon slave)

Xelloss: I came to persaude you to…

Lita:no

Xelloss: why?

Lita: I will _not_ write a fic where you destroy everything.

Xelloss: (pout)

Lita: it won't work

Xelloss:what if I gave you something?

Lita: (eyes light up) A gift? (Xelloss nods) what?

Xelloss: Sore Wa Himitsu Desu ^_^

Lita: (mutters something under breath)

Xelloss: what speak up.

Lita: BY THE POWER YOU AND I POSES! DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!!

(Xelloss is blasted away and Lita goes back to plotting)(fade to black)


	3. my conversations 3

Insane Ramblings 3

(Fade in on Lita and Amelia)

Lita: got it?

Amelia: (starry eyed) yes I would love to help you Lita-sama

Lita: good girl (pats Amelia's head)

(Xelloss apears)

Xelloss: Hello all!

Lita: knock yourself out Amelia (walks over to kitchen and starts making lemon bars)

Amelia: (deep breath Starts to sing) A girl who has Justice there on her side never has to fear…

Xelloss: NO!! make it stop Lita-chan your evil

Lita: (smug look) I know Amelia come here and try these lemon bars (Amelia goes and gets lemon bar) oh yeah and Xelloss-Revenge is sweet.

Xelloss:-_-(phases out)

Amelia: (still eating Lemon bars) These are really good Lita-sama

Lita: well you did your job so their all yours

Amelia: (eyes light up) you really mean it?

Lita: yep

(fade to black)


	4. my conversations 4

Insane Ramblings 4

(Fade in on Lita Inverse, Zel, and Lina)

Zel: how come you want revenge against me and not Lina she did more

Lina: traitor

Lita: (gasps) how can you even suggest I try to get revenge on Lina-chan she's one of my idols

Zel: you are a very morbid person

Lina: what's that suppose to mean Zel?

Lita: ^_^ thank you Zel but flattery will get you nowhere

Zel:…

Lita: now how to extract my revenge on zel…(evil thoughts race through head; Starts drooling and giggling insanely)

Zel: eep

Lina: I almost pity you.

Lita: I got it! (smashes fist in palm of other hand) OW! (and hits it to hard)

Lina&Zel: (sweatdrop)

Lita: AMEELIA!!

(Amelia appears)

Amelia:you called Lita-sama

Lita: (points to Zel) Glomp

Amelia: (glomps Zel happily)

Zel: can't…….breathe

Lina:...

Lita: ooohh! More revenge! I know your cure but I'm not telling

Zel: Why…you….still can't…..breathe

Lita: (sweatdrop) Amelia off before you kill him

Amelia: (pouty face) oh alright Lita-sama(lets go)

Zel: (falls unconcious)

Lina: your not going to get revenge on me right?

Lita: of course not Idol. (pulls Lemon bars out of oven) Here you go you to.

Amelia&Lina: FOOD! (pounce on unsuspecting pan of lemon bars)

Lita: (sweatdrop)

(fade to balck)


	5. my conversations 5

Insane Babblings 5

(fade in on Lita Inverse playing Diablo II)

Lita: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DIE ANDARIEL CREATURE OF POISEN DIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AHHHH idied AGAIN (turns computer off and starts pouting) why do I always die when I get to andariel. GREAT now I'm bored.

(suddenly Lina Zel Amelia and Gourry appear)

Lina&Zel: EEK!

Gourry: (scratches head in confusion {what else?})

Amelia: Lita-sama!

Lita: ooohhhh entertainment

L,Z,G,&A:huh?

Lita: I'm bored and your entertainment

L,Z,G&A: eep

Lita: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA stand on your heads fools well actually Lina's not a fool but she still has to stand on her head because I said so…(Lita continues rambling nonsense)

L,Z,G&A: (sweatdrop)

Lita: ANYWAYS STAND ON YOUR HEADS FOOLS AND MY IDOL

Gourry: whose your Idol?

Lita: LINA'S MY IDOL YOU IDIOT

Gourry why is your idol a flat-chested little girl?

Lita&Lina:WHAT DID YOU CALL ME/LINA (the duo proceed to beat Gourry up)

Amelia&Zel: (sweatdrop)

Lita&Lina: (brush hands together signaling their down pounding Gourry)

Gourry: (twitch twitch)

(fade to black)

run away run away (comethe screams from those who were in the dimensional pocket and Lita can be heard cackling madly again)


	6. my conversations 6

Insane Babblings 6

(fade in on Lita Inverse typing at her computer cackling (again) madly Listening to Slayers Try soundtrack when the doorbell rings)

Lita: (gets up and asnwers the door) Hiya Beastmaster!

Zellas: hello Lita how goes the writing?

Lita: Great! Your just in time for torture Xelloss time.

Zellas: may I help?

Lita: of course you're an important piece in my plan.

Zellas: well spill it.

Lita: (leans over and whispers something in Zellas's ear and Zellas grin widens)

(Xelloss appears)

Xelloss: Hiya Lita-chan (looks at Zellas does a double take) M-M-Master

Zellas: hello Xelloss (lights her cigarette) did you do what I asked?

Xelloss: yes, I don't think Mr. Shirt will be spreading any more secrets.

Lita: rrrriiiiigggghhttt! (leans over to Zellas) what does that mean?

Zellas: (whispering to Lita) he was getting to annoying so I told him to eliminate our 'leak' mr.shirt he's so gullable.

Lita:ah.

Xelloss: (jumping between the two girls) I want to join in the gossip too. (pouty face)

Lita: we just have to wait for Ami and the fun begins.

Zellas&Xelloss: who?

Lita:my friend Ami and Xelloss if you do anything out of line no more beatings

Xelloss: uh that's mean.

(doorbell rings)

Lita: (answers the door) Hiya Ami

Ami:hi Lita.

Lita:we just need ChibiMichiru and Rei

(the doorbell rings yet again)

Lita: (answers door) ChibiMichiru, Rei you're here now we can proceed as planned.

ChibiMichiru:yep

Rei: Hi

Lita: good one,two,three

Zellas: (puts some earplugs in) Gotta go Xelloss stay here you can't leave until Lita says so bye!

Minna(minus Zellas):bye

Minna(minus Xellos): Life is wonderful life is wonderful life is wonderful….(continue chanting)

Xelloss:AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Lita: (raises hand then drops it stopping chorus) are you going to be a good Little Mazoku or do we have to continue?

Xelloss: I'll….be…..good

Lita: then your free to go

Xelloss: BYE! (phases out)

Lita: now where did I put the snacks.

(ChibiMichiru,Rei,Ami and Lita get tons of junk food and party the rest of the night)


	7. my conversations 7

Insane Babblings 7

(fade in on Lita sitting on Couch covered in chibi-slayers charaters trying to avoid the reign of evil math homework)

Lita: bored bored bored

(Xelloss appears)

Xelloss:hi

Lita: what is it now?

Xelloss: I just wanted to know what's in that room over there (points to a doorway shrouded in dark mist and eerie organ music playing around it)

Lita: My favorite room and Xelloss CUT IT OUT WITH THE STUPID DRAMATIC SPECIAL EFFECTS.

Xellos: fine (grumbles) you never let me have any fun

Lita: better

Xelloss: what's in there?

Lita: Sore Wa Himitsu Desu ^_^

Xelloss: that's mine

Lita: so?

Xelloss: (pout)well…

Lita: I'm not going to tell

Xelloss: your mean

Lita: flattery will get you nowhere

Xelloss: darn

Lita: (grins)

(fade to black)


	8. my conversations 8

Insane Babblings 8

(fade in on Lita Inverse sitting on her Slayers couch with soda and popcorn and candy watching the mathbooks burning in the fireplace (with all the lights of for more effect))

Lita: Heh heh heh die Evil Mathbooks!!! Too bad I'm out of marshmellows. (sigh) better get more mathbooks. (walks over to stack of mathbooks and throws some in the fireplace)

Xellos: (phases in dragging Filia) She's trying to hit me with her mace again!

Lita: so?

Xellos: well punish her!

Filia: he he that Namagomi was trying to teaching Baby Val how to turn people into Mazoku!

Lita: Filia come here!

Xellos: ^_^

Lita: if our going to punish Xellos try getting Amelia to sing or something.

Filia: your right!

Xellos: (facefault) Lita-chan!!!! How could you!!!!

Lita: just go get me some marshmellows Xellos!

Xellos: no

Lita: Life is…

Xellos: Fine!

Filia: can I join you?

Lita: sure, but why don't you get Val

Filia: oh yeah! (leaves through dimensional and comes back half an hour later with Baby Val)

Xellos: (phases in) here are your stupid marshmellows! (shoves Lita the bag and phases out)

Lita&Filia:…

Lita: oh boy! Xellos isn't cheery.

Filia: trouble this spells trouble.

Lita: (brightens) I know! (leans over and whispers in Filia's ear)

Filia: (grins) think it'll work?

Lita: not sure now back to watching my mathboks burn!

(fade to black)


	9. My conversations 9- The party

AN: Ok this took forever to do…

Insane Ramblings 9

Lita: (Looks around room which is filled with the slayers cast and Bishounen/shoujo yet Xellos is nowhere to be found) Is everybody ready?

Zel: (Who has been decorated in bright colors) No can I go home?

Lita: NO! ^_^

Lina: Why are we here?

Lita: Sore Wa Himitsu Desu! ^_^

Abri: Your getting as bad as Xellos!

Filia: She meant this was for Xellos!

Abri: oh…

Lita: (sweatdrops) Xellas…

Xellas: gottcha (sends some telepathic thinga-ma-jig and orders Xellos to Lita's pocket Dimension) Thinga-ma-jig? Lita?

Lita: Shut up! I haven't slept in forever!

(every one hides. Some *coughzelcough* tied and gagged behind a couch)

(Xellas and Lita stay out in the open)

( Xellos appears)

Xellos: Yes Master. ( bows to Xellas) Why have you called me here? If I may ask?

Xellas: (Looks over to Lita)

Lita: (snaps fingers)

Everyone: (besides those who were tied and gagged *coughzelcough*) SURPRISE!!!!!!

Xellos: I didn't know it was my birthday!

Lita: It's not…

Xellos:..I knew that…Then what is this for?

Filia: Lita felt bad for making you upset…that and with you in a bad mood Abri was in a bad mood…

Lita: She was mainly giving me a headache…

Abri: HEY! *glomps Xellos* My Xellos!

Xellos: *blinks* I have a new growth…

Everyone (sans Xellos and Abri) : *sweatdrop*


End file.
